History is packed with legendary battles—Zama, Waterloo, Gettysburg. But none of those come close to the Great Emu War.
Yes, you heard that right. A war against emus. In 1932, the Australian military waged an actual, government-backed military campaign against giant, flightless birds—and lost.
A battle between soldiers with machine guns and a horde of birds sounds absurd—because it absolutely was. And the best part? The birds kicked ass.
Let’s dive into the only war in history where humans were bested by a bunch of overgrown, feathered velociraptors.
Feathers vs. Farmers: How It All Started
After World War I, Australian soldiers returned home, hoping for a warm welcome and a cold beer. Instead, they were greeted by 20,000 emus wrecking their farms.
Imagine that. You survive a war, come home ready to start fresh, and instead of peace, you’re met with an army of oversized, crop-trampling assholes.
Emus, being the chaotic menaces they are, had zero respect for human agriculture. They trampled wheat fields, tore through crops, and smashed fences like they owned the place. And since this was during the Great Depression, every destroyed crop made a bad situation even worse.
The farmers fought back the best they could—with their own guns—but emus don’t go down easy. Outnumbered and outmaneuvered, the desperate farmers called in the big guns—literally.
The Australian government, in a spectacular display of problem-solving, decided the best solution was full-blown military intervention.
That’s right. They declared war. On birds.
The Military’s Brilliant Plan: Machine Guns vs. Emus
November 2, 1932: The First Strike
Armed with Lewis machine guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition, Australian soldiers rolled up like they were about to obliterate the enemy. The plan? Line up. Aim. Unleash hell.
What could possibly go wrong?
Everything.
The second they fired, the emus scattered like tactical geniuses. These birds didn’t just run—they zigzagged, split into smaller groups, and juked bullets like they’d studied military strategy.
Turns out, trying to hit a moving target that sprints 30 mph and can change direction like a damn race car is not easy. The soldiers wasted a ton of ammo, barely hitting anything.
Army: 0, Emus: 1.
November 4, 1932: Attempt #2 – The “Genius” Ambush Plan
After getting humiliated by birds, the military decided on a new plan: ambush them at a water source.
It was solid logic—wait for the birds to gather, then rain down bullets.
For a brief, glorious moment, it seemed to be working. Over 1,000 emus were right in their sights. The soldiers aimed, pulled the trigger, and…
The gun jammed.
By the time they got it working again, the emus had peaced the hell out—probably laughing on their way to another wheat field.
Army: 0, Emus: 2.
The Final Plan: High-Speed Pursuit (Because That Was Gonna Work)
Running out of ideas (and dignity), the military tried one last plan: chase the emus down in trucks and gun them down while driving.
A foolproof strategy, right?
Yeah, except the emus were faster than the trucks.
These birds could sprint 30 mph, and the rough terrain made it impossible for the vehicles to keep up. Even when the soldiers got close, the emus would swerve at the last second, dodging bullets like action heroes.
At one point, the military actually managed to hit an emu—only to crash their own damn truck in the process.
Army: 0, Emus: 3.
The Aftermath: The Birds Remain Undefeated
After weeks of wasted ammo, destroyed vehicles, and a bruised national ego, the Australian government called it quits.
In total, the military barely managed to kill a few hundred emus—which was nothing compared to the 20,000 still roaming the land like victorious conquerors.
The final decision? Just let the farmers deal with the problem themselves. Eventually, the government placed bounties on emus, which actually worked—because, shocker, hiring skilled hunters was a better idea than going full Rambo on birds.
But the war itself? An absolute, hilarious disaster.
Lessons from the Great Emu War
What can we learn from this bizarre (and frankly, embarrassing) chapter of history?
- Never underestimate your enemy. The Australian military assumed dumb birds would be an easy target. They were wrong.
- Emus are built for survival. These things are 6 feet tall, tough as hell, extremely fast, and capable of dodging bullets.
- Firepower isn’t everything. Sometimes, strategy wins. The emus outmaneuvered the army at every turn.
- Maybe don’t declare war on birds. Just a thought.
The Legacy of the Great Emu War
Despite being a complete failure, the Great Emu War has earned a legendary place in history as one of the most absurd military operations ever attempted.
It’s the only recorded war where humans fought birds—and lost.
Today, the story of the Great Emu War lives on through memes, comedy sketches, and historical retrospectives. And honestly, it deserves all the attention.
So, the next time you see an emu, give it a nod of respect. Its ancestors successfully defeated an army.
The emus remain undefeated.
